Voice vs Tact

My sister in law just sent me a link to an article by Amy Glass. Many of you might already have heard about the contafersy this blog post has caused, and I want to weigh in.
The blog post is titled “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry”
With almost 9000 comments and news coverage, this post has gone viral. I am sick to my stomache reading it. So I fealt the need to rant and weigh in on Miss Glass’s post.

First thing is first. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. It is a guaranteed right. That being said, just because you have the right to voice your opinion, doesn’t mean it should be cruel. There is a tactful way to have your voice heard. I do not feel that was the case with this post. I am a stay at home mom of 5 children. I am happy in my role. I believe the highest calling is that of a mother, and am not willing to delegate my role. I sacrifice as a one income family to achieve what I believe is best for my family. That being said, I have close friends who have no children, and may never choose to have children. I resect them. I have close friends who work and have their children in day care. I respect them for their choice. There is not one choice better that the other. I do not look down on some one else’s choices. It is their life, their choice.

 

Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same. It’s hard for me to believe it’s not just verbally placating these people so they don’t get in trouble with the mommy bloggers.

I agree. They are not the same. One person get to make decisions affecting one person. The other has a minimum of 18 years of decisions that affect some one else. When a single women takes a new job is she committing to stay for 18 years? To be on call 24 hour a day, 7 days a week?

Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them

If this was true, then why is there such a high number of women unable to have children and heartbroken for it? Why are so many people on dating websites looking for someone to share their lives with?
Having a child is no easy or ordinary task. The process of pregnancy and child birth takes 40 weeks, and hours of labour that is indescribable. It is work. Hard work.

I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job not when she stays inside the box and does the house and kids thing which is the path of least resistance.

Again, I go back to the commitment. Do you commit to your dream job for life? How long does it take to back pack across Asia? I view my marriage as a life long decision. I will not abandon it when something better comes along. While some people think that marriage is something you can always back out on, I do not feel that way. I married for life. I will work on my marriage. I invest in my marriage as much as I do in my children.  I receive no pay, no promotions, no vacation time. My rewards are the joy I have. When you back pack through Asia alone, yes, you have accomplished something. Go ahead and celebrate, but how are theses things comparable? I take offence to you calling my life the path of least resistance. I have successfully created 5 lives. I have been hospitalized as a result of one of my births. I have cared for my children when no one else could. Stayed up all night, and am currently working with my disabled daughter so she can have a better quality of life. They will leave a mark when I am gone. I have invested everything in their lives. I do not complain it is hard.

This has not been easy. Isn’t the path of least resistance sitting back and taking care of your self? No one depends on you. We view the value of a CEO managing thousands of employees as having more value than the  entry level who manages only their own performance. This is obvious in pay scale, as well as respect. A mother manages a house hold. How does this principle differ?

I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

So how do you know what I secretly think? If you sit and talk to a group of mothers, they do see their accomplishments. Something much more important then a career. Men don’t often complain about how hard their jobs are period. It’s not about conditioning on importance. Some one has to cook and clean. You can delegate and hire someone, or do it your self. These are necessities, not trivial things. A wife and mother does more than cook and clean. Try following a stay at home around for a week. There is so much more. I have left my husband to care for the children for 3 days. When I come home he always says “Wow. Thank you for all you do.”

While I don’t want to draw more attention to this post, I do not like having someone say that the things in my life are “Stupid.” I will not sit her and insult Miss Glass. She is entitled to her opinion. That is fine. There is one thing she needs to consider. She has a mother. This public attack is insulting the role her mother took. Whether her mother stayed home, work, loved or resented her role, it doesn’t change the fact that someone brought her into the world. By choice. It is fine to have your opinion, but there is a line. If you want your opinion to be respected, than you need to respect the opinions of others.


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