First, let me say, there is a reason my blog is called Me And My Handful. I have 5 children, a literal handful. I became a parent nearly 13 years ago, and I have no regrets. None at all. That doesn’t mean it has been easy. I knew my life would change, but there are things I did not anticipate giving up.
Things like wearing makeup, wearing nice shoes. Who has time for leisure reading when there are Dr. Suess books to be read? Going to the bathroom in peace, what is that, right?
Before I had my kids, I wore makeup every day. I bought shoes based on how they looked. I read books for fun all the time. I played PlayStation for stress relief whenever I felt like it. If I was in the bathroom, there was never a knock on the door…….or the handle slowly turning. These are things I never imagined I would sacrifice by becoming a mother.
Fashion gives over to practicality. Leiser time is spent trying to sleep. The bathroom is no longer a private place. Every time I shower, Little C wonders in saying “Ma! Mommy?” It’s part of motherhood. We accept it. The question is, do we have to? One day I woke up and realized that everything in my life was about everyone else.
I have been a mother for 13 years. I love being a mom, most days. There are times when I see a picture from before, or days I look at a friend with no kids and miss that part of me. So I said enough is enough. I can be a mom, and be me at the same time! I started wearing makeup again, just because, and it felt good. I started buying clothing that was about how I felt, not about practicality. I took out books from the library. Still working on finding time to read! Why is it that as soon as we pick up a book, everyone needs Mom? The bathroom? Well, I don’t know if that’s a battle worth fighting.
I feel more like me again. I think many of us focus so much on our family, that we slowly forget that we can be a woman too. We need to keep some things for ourselves. One day, the children grow up and we are still there. Being a mom does not mean we are not still us. It is a battle I am still working on. It’s a battle I plan to win.