It’s lonely As A Special Needs Mom

The life of a special needs mom is a lonely one

While my peers can go out to a play place with their littles and relax, I stay on edge. While most moms are scheduling playdates, I am fighting back tears. You see, my daughter isn’t a typical 5-year-old. Special needs children don’t get the same experiences that other children do, and people get that. What people forget is that the special needs parents get left out too. We don’t have the luxury of relaxing when we go out with our children.

We are always watching

Yes, always watching. I often find it hard to engage in conversations because I have to be watching. We are always sitting on the edge of our seat ready to intervene. Is she playing nice? Are the other children excluding her? Is she where she is safe? It is not a relaxing or fun outing, even if I fake that it is. That’s right, I fake it.

It might sound strange but I fake enjoying outings because it’s easier than explaining why I am tense and want to be at home. For me, I just feel best at home, where she knows what’s safe. Where I know what to expect. Where I can shut out the dangers and exclusions I can’t control. At home, she knows her boundaries. The dangers are kept out of reach. At home, I can have control.

I miss the days when I could take the kids to the park and relax and just play with them. Now, the playground is looming with dangers. What will she pick up? Will she run away from me? Will I have to explain her condition to other moms because she is not playing appropriately? It’s stressful, and so I stay home.

It’s lonely as a special needs mom.


Comments

  1. It really is lonely as a special needs Mom. My son is 2 and I find myself hearing and seeing what others say about him still having a bottle, not talking, not interacting with other kids and just overall delayed. It is tough!
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